Ladies, these 5 things are in themselves not exhaustive, but they should be
foremost in your mind as you consider a man you want to spend the rest of
your life with. Watch him for these. I found it interesting because I'm tired
of hearing stories of emotional and financial abuse, and wife batering too. It
spoils my day; so I thought to share what I found with my nairaland family.
The original article was first written by Pastor Dunamis Tunde Okunowo of
Kisses and Hugs club. Enjoy reading.
1. Look for the fear of God.
The first thing to look for is the fear of God. This is very important. I say
fear of God because the word “born-again” has been misused. Everybody is
born again today. People become born again momentarily to get what they
want. People give their lives to Jesus in order to get a wife and after they
do, they collect their lives back from Jesus! It is no longer safe to assume
somebody is God’s choice because you met him or her in church! It goes
beyond that. This is why you don’t fall in love with somebody you met two
hours ago. You cannot fall in love with somebody you do not know. Love comes
with knowledge.
2. Look for focus.
Focus is important. What is the man focusing on in life? What is his vision in
life? Who does he want to become? What is the person’s idea of marriage? Is
the person serving God presently? What is he doing now? What does he intend
to do later? What are his plans?
3. Look for consistency.
Consistency has to with his habits and patterns. Does he have consistent
spiritual habits? Who are his friends? How does he spend his free times? In
the bar?
4. Look for utterances.
His words are representations of the intents of his heart, …for out of the
abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. (Matthew 12:34b KJV). His words
would reveal his heart. Ask a lot of questions and listen to what he says. This
is why courtship is important. Courtship period is not the time to get physical
sexually, it is not an alignment of the bodies, it is an alignment of the minds.
So before you give your consent, ask questions.What is his concept of serving
God? You need to know all of these so that you will not walk down the aisle
and then three months after, you want to run up the aisle and out of the
marriage. That will not be your portion, but you need to “shine you eye” well!
Stop falling in love helplessly, without thinking! Don’t be desperate to the
extent that anything that comes goes. When you are desperate, men can sense
it, and they may take advantage of that. You don’t have any business in the
bed of man that you met few days back! How will you keep your respect and
dignity intact like that? What will your relationship with God become? You are
not a philanthropist, so stop donating your body and opening your legs
generously for whoever wants! Nay!
5. Look for submission.
Is this man submissive? Who can you report him to when there are issues? Does
he have a pastor or mentor you can report him to? He is not supposed to be
the alpha and the omega that you cannot report. Is he accountable? To who?
You know, I have counseled a few married people, and the issues are so serious
and it is really very sad, when I ask the wife, “who does your husband
respect?” and they go like, “Pastor, he respects nobody, not even his parents!”
Now, that is not a good spot to be… Listen to me single ladies; never commit
your life to somebody who has no authority figures over his life! When you do
that, you have eliminated any external options when it comes to conflict
resolution. It means the issue must be solved only by his wisdom and standard
and that wisdom can be outright foolishness. That standard can be very
warped. So, be wise! Too many ladies have been abused in their matrimonial
home, with the husband brazenly beating up the wife and even bringing another
woman into the house, and the wife looks on helplessly, because NOBODY can
talk to him! It can really be unfortunate! When you are at that point, your
only way out is to pray…and ask God to have mercy on the foolish choice
that has been made. The mercy of God can turn things around. God bless you.
foremost in your mind as you consider a man you want to spend the rest of
your life with. Watch him for these. I found it interesting because I'm tired
of hearing stories of emotional and financial abuse, and wife batering too. It
spoils my day; so I thought to share what I found with my nairaland family.
The original article was first written by Pastor Dunamis Tunde Okunowo of
Kisses and Hugs club. Enjoy reading.
1. Look for the fear of God.
The first thing to look for is the fear of God. This is very important. I say
fear of God because the word “born-again” has been misused. Everybody is
born again today. People become born again momentarily to get what they
want. People give their lives to Jesus in order to get a wife and after they
do, they collect their lives back from Jesus! It is no longer safe to assume
somebody is God’s choice because you met him or her in church! It goes
beyond that. This is why you don’t fall in love with somebody you met two
hours ago. You cannot fall in love with somebody you do not know. Love comes
with knowledge.
2. Look for focus.
Focus is important. What is the man focusing on in life? What is his vision in
life? Who does he want to become? What is the person’s idea of marriage? Is
the person serving God presently? What is he doing now? What does he intend
to do later? What are his plans?
3. Look for consistency.
Consistency has to with his habits and patterns. Does he have consistent
spiritual habits? Who are his friends? How does he spend his free times? In
the bar?
4. Look for utterances.
His words are representations of the intents of his heart, …for out of the
abundance of the heart the mouth speaketh. (Matthew 12:34b KJV). His words
would reveal his heart. Ask a lot of questions and listen to what he says. This
is why courtship is important. Courtship period is not the time to get physical
sexually, it is not an alignment of the bodies, it is an alignment of the minds.
So before you give your consent, ask questions.What is his concept of serving
God? You need to know all of these so that you will not walk down the aisle
and then three months after, you want to run up the aisle and out of the
marriage. That will not be your portion, but you need to “shine you eye” well!
Stop falling in love helplessly, without thinking! Don’t be desperate to the
extent that anything that comes goes. When you are desperate, men can sense
it, and they may take advantage of that. You don’t have any business in the
bed of man that you met few days back! How will you keep your respect and
dignity intact like that? What will your relationship with God become? You are
not a philanthropist, so stop donating your body and opening your legs
generously for whoever wants! Nay!
5. Look for submission.
Is this man submissive? Who can you report him to when there are issues? Does
he have a pastor or mentor you can report him to? He is not supposed to be
the alpha and the omega that you cannot report. Is he accountable? To who?
You know, I have counseled a few married people, and the issues are so serious
and it is really very sad, when I ask the wife, “who does your husband
respect?” and they go like, “Pastor, he respects nobody, not even his parents!”
Now, that is not a good spot to be… Listen to me single ladies; never commit
your life to somebody who has no authority figures over his life! When you do
that, you have eliminated any external options when it comes to conflict
resolution. It means the issue must be solved only by his wisdom and standard
and that wisdom can be outright foolishness. That standard can be very
warped. So, be wise! Too many ladies have been abused in their matrimonial
home, with the husband brazenly beating up the wife and even bringing another
woman into the house, and the wife looks on helplessly, because NOBODY can
talk to him! It can really be unfortunate! When you are at that point, your
only way out is to pray…and ask God to have mercy on the foolish choice
that has been made. The mercy of God can turn things around. God bless you.
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